I want to write a little about the effects that EMDR is having on me -- at least what I think they are. It's quite difficult to know because they are not very obvious or clear.
I have my weekly therapy session in the late morning on my day off, so I usually go home, have some lunch and go straight to sleep for about three hours. The tiredness lasts right through into the next day at least. Someone had warned me about EMDR being exhausting, and my therapist also told me to take it easy for the rest of the day. My tiredness could be due to other things as my sleep and overall health are not that great at the moment.
I don't feel emotionally raw or upset after EMDR. Sometimes I feel relieved, or elated, indifferent, puzzled. When we tackled what is to me one of the most difficult topics - being molested - I was completely fine. I was surprised by how lightly I was able to engage with it, because previously I have experienced terrible distress when discussing or recalling those events, and here I was stepping right back into those moments. Being able to handle it was an awesome feeling.
Since my last session I have felt as if I am in a bit of a bubble -- tired, slightly indifferent to things. That feeling is exacerbated by memories of dreams coming back to me at odd moments, dreams from the past year or two. It's strange, like a funny quirk in my brain. This could also be related to my medication, as I have been having intense dreams ever since going on lithium in October 2013.
Anyway, I realise none of this is very detailed or specific, but it helps me to write it down and keep track of it a bit.
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