Last night I watched the film "Jeune et jolie" (young and beautiful) by François Ozon. I want to post about it because for me, the story was mainly about sex addiction, how it can emerge and how damaging it is.
The protagonist is an extremely beautiful,17-year-old girl from a wealthy Parisian family. One summer, she loses her virginity on a beach to some guy that she doesn't really care about. It is an unpleasant, mechanical and impersonal experience for her, but she seems numb. Not long after their return to Paris for the autumn, she is working as a high-end prostitute.
I could write a lot more about this but I will leave it there. I don't like the subject much but I wanted to watch it because it's important to me. Yes the past is sad but it reminded me how lucky I am.
Many things about the film moved me because like me, she had such a loveless introduction to sex - it wasn't anything connected to emotion, tenderness or intimacy. For the girl sex quickly becomes a tool with which she exerts power over men, with which to make money. This is how she gets her validation and sometimes affection.
There are a few twists I won't reveal in case you want to watch it, except that her mum finds out and goes berserk. And it becomes clear that the girl is really isolated, lonely and disconnected from those closest to her. Her mother is not trustworthy, her kind stepfather starts to seem unsafe, her best friend is clueless and inexperienced. She is close to her younger brother but the main topic of conversation is sex and their relationship seems unhealthy.
She doesn't confide in anyone, and nobody can get through to her. What is striking is that she seems unable to to tolerate any positive, wholesome family scenes, any feelings of togetherness or belonging. I can identify with that - I always felt it was a lie and so uncomfortable, I just wanted to get away and blot out the feelings with booze or pot or emotional fixes.
This discomfort/hatred is one of the forces that drives her to prostitution I think, because what she is doing is filling the void in her with something strong, destructive and dark, something "bad". She is using sex and masturbation to change the way she feels, and end up totally cut off from her own body and her feelings.
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